Graduation Fear: Removing it!
Graduation Fear: Removing it!
Many have spent between 50-200k to complete an education but have never spent time working deeply on job interviewing or learning to master their fear and inner mindset. We finish the degree and expect the world is ready for us and that we've done all that needs to be completed. Career centers mean well however they are not using cutting edge ways to write a power resume. I see so many bland resumes, one looks like the other, and there's no differentiation of candidates' results, accomplishments, processes, relationships and high points. Everyone is presenting in "correct" format like a 10 speed bike from the 1980's rather than riding on a Peloton. Much job interview information is outdated and often 40 yrs. old.
When I coach people I even hear them say things like: "I asked my grandmother, aunt, or hairdresser and she said..."
If you don't have an exact science and strategy to alleviate fear and to guide you exactly through the job interview and life process then fear will "steal" from you. Fear can snowball to the point that one is frozen and they "hope" they did OK in that interview. People who use my REAPRICH science often know exactly how they did in an interview and can often predict what offers they're going to get. Remember, hope is not a strategy!
Bottom line: if you can't learn to master fear within yourself it's going to consume you at the most important times. This can be interviews, 1st days at work, sitting with yourself when you didn't get any internship or job, and in most aspects of your personal and professional life. We have been programmed to worry about what other people think of us. Jan Helfeld who I interviewed on Howleader talks about learning to LOVE yourself before the result. If we create a state of confidence and peace within ourselves then we are much more likely to win in the interview process.
People often read my book "Cracking The Code To a Successful Interview, 15 Secrets From A Top Level Recruiter" and it changes their life. Many don't have someone to practice with or have fear about presenting themselves. That's where the group and one on one coaching lessons come through. We also often are able to help people leave fear behind and visualize their success outcomes, such that they're living much more freely inside themselves.
I built Howleader.com as many people were getting the job after reading my book but they came back and said: "What do I do now? How do I get to the top of my field?" I then went out and interviewed a group of people that had risen to the top of their fields. People you and I could relate too, aspire too, and actually achieve like them! The mission was to make it affordable for ANYONE in the world to watch videos and learn from these people and so it's $3 a month to be a member. We've interviewed so many winners, many are listed on our site. We often do private intros to our most talented advisors to help students and others get connected within their industry of choice.
Our intro programs are also very affordable as I believe everyone should have a great resume and job interview mastery. SO often when I was #1 recruiter at Oracle I would see people fail the interview that should have had the job. It got so painful to watch that after about 1000 people I wrote my book. Interestingly I actually had a woman who I knew through friends come in to interview at Oracle and she tripped on the carpet and fell flat on her face! I whisked her off to a side room using Howleader and my book principles and she was able to recover and actually pass the interview. She got the job!
We also have created a safe place where people can talk about fear, anxiety, success, and prior and current trauma. I'm someone who has healed through all these things so it's very important to give back! Our groups and one on one give people a safe place to open up!
As people, we also often hit unexpected roadblocks and surprises too. We have to have the strength to pivot and work through things.
I remember this personally when I completed a Masters and Post Masters, and at that moment, all the Industrial Psychologist jobs dried up!
People often don't realize the fear of newly graduating college students about getting a job, and if they get one, whether it's the best one. The interview process and waiting game often has a lot of fear attached to it. These poor souls also solicit the advice, comfort, and suggestions of everyone from their friends, relatives, teachers, career centers, and strangers. This can make for quite a flurry of information, like cooking a large soup and just throwing a bunch of varied ingredients in. This chaos, and often discomfort can dominate most of their waking hours in their junior and senior year. Added is the extra pressure of how much they've paid for an education and how much parents or they have taken out in loans to make this all possible. Lastly, some of them aren't sure they chose the right major or line of work, because of this they may have to switch focuses somewhere in their journey.
When we add the fact that almost no one in high school or college is taught to emotionally manage themselves, the existing consciousness can be quite a flurry. Some hit depression points, end up on medication, and others are feverishly working out, working to boost their natural brain enhancing chemicals, however much of this can feel like a race with time.
Society in high school has created a "competitiveness to matter" mindset. Most are garnished with this pressure and their parents also stand over them, singing the echo of needed performance and accomplishments. For kids that are loved well, and complete the attachment bond appropriately with their parents, this can be an energetic and exciting time. They can often begin to enjoy digging deep in their soul for potential, and having a strong "at home" support framework, having built up the ability to meet calamity of challenge with heart, mind, and soul strength. In the most difficult of situations, the parents are also equipped to walk through it with them and help them make proper decisions. Unfortunately this isn't always the norm.
The great news is many people, parents, and students are taking on pieces of a growth path and doing meditation, yoga, and therapy. They can see marked or minor improvements in their inner selves. Others are deeply committed to their transformation and doing the airplane route for healing and inner peace. They are getting continuous strength by doing EMDR Trauma therapy and the best actual science for Meditation from the Self Realization Fellowship. Values are changing while inner peace and contentment is being balanced with success and achievement. Unfortunately, and fortunately it is often pain that brings people on to a deeper, committed healing path.
Some success strategies:
Practice visualizing each situation in the mind prior to interviews. See, hear, and feel confidence and great outcomes. Train your mind and nervous system to have this outcome.
Visualize your best life at multiple year time junctures.
Surround yourself with people that are soothing, healing, success oriented, and that can call out the false information within your fears.
Enter therapy, coaching, or a system that allows you to learn inner transformation.
Practice REAPRICH science from my book alone and with others.
Do a fear cleansing exercise like we have at Howleader, and also identify people to safely speak about your fears with.
For many people and college students, there are these issues:
Emotional and nurturing attachments were not made in a healthy and strong way with the parents.
There was not emotional availability in a full manner by the parents.
The parents may be overly controlling or way hands off in each aspect of the child's, teens, and young adults life.
There might be abuse, addiction, anger, as a regular active coping mechanism in the current household.
One or multiple family members may be struggling with addiction, codependency, and past abuse or trauma issues.
Often fear and worry can be perpetuated through generations. There is also mental difficulty if people aren't taking proper healthy care of themselves in a non compulsive manner. Some of the best parents have grown up with the worst situations during their own childhood. They decide they are going to give their kids all the chances they never had. Many never get healthy emotionally, mentally or spiritually and unbeknownst to them, their original trauma or pain transfers down to their kids.
Some examples of this:
A highly successful girl athlete talks about how her Dad has never told her he loves her. She has waited her whole life for this to happen. He is present with her Mom, visits, but is emotionally devoid due to his childhood.
A college student can never talk to their parents about how they are feeling. Emotional conversations are too sensitive for these parents as their upbringing was difficult.
One parent or both are highly controlling, even wanting the cars parked perfectly in the driveway. They have storms of anger and are often shaming, disapproving, and very hard on one or all of the children. Because of this disapproval the kids never arrive fully in an emotionally comfortable place within themselves, but instead are driven by constant fear. If we review that parent's upbringing sometimes it is often much worse than can be imagined, and is highly abusive and threatening. This parent can only feel emotionally level when things are under control and going well.
A family has strong means but one member keeps getting in trouble with substance abuse, detoxes, and acting out. Every effort has been made to heal them but it's not happening.
They have an unending and overwhelming sense of needing approval from everyone. It dominates their day. This is often trauma based.
Often the young adults and the parents within families need healing. This is a multidimensional approach. Often we have to get to the core sadness of the child within each and give them a pathway home to heal. Building that all around map including emotions, career, plans of action, teaching how to relieve sadness and get to inner peace, are key parts of the process. Those are all parts of the inner game and healing of oneself.
If these are done properly then there's an inner healing that makes people (college students, parents) not be dominated by fear, able to be at ease with themselves, and having the peace, confidence, and horsepower to take on and approach a healthy life. Treating the whole person allows success to be manifested from within. The science at Howleader and the coaches advisory helps each person begin their path to all around peace, contentment, and excellence. We have the people to focus on every aspect of a person's life and bring them home to healing. We have a map, 6, 9 month, and 1 year coaching programs, to bring people home to their best career and inner selves.
Out with the old, in with the new, is a process that cleans out the past and replaces it with new, strong healthy strategies to love, and a much more balanced, exciting, peaceful and rewarding life.
Our season special power resume rewrite and one hour of coaching intro is $299. We also have a six week group group program of reducing fear and anxiety for $179.00! Sign up at Howleader.com.
